The Making of an Ideal Day
Reflections in Marrakech
Being away from our natural environment invites explorations of reality from different vantage points, points we may have missed otherwise. Two weeks ago, I had the best time ever in Marrakech with two girlfriends. (There were simply too many beautiful moments to keep count of, so I’ll just sprinkle photos throughout this letter.) We felt so at peace and content during our four days there that our quality of life seemed to have improved to levels our lives in London could never match. We’d pause and tell each other how grateful and happy we felt with every chance we got. Yes, being on vacation was a huge mood booster, but a candid comparison nevertheless reveals some truth. It made me curious –– on a fundamental level, what did we do differently in Marrakech that led us to feel drastically happier and more grounded in how we experienced life?
Better rest + unplugging from distractions
I average a similar amount of sleep compared to what I get in London, yet the quality has improved significantly. I no longer fall asleep with anxious thoughts and wake up with a racing heart as if I’m on the brink of drowning. On this trip, sleep feels like proper rejuvenation to help me better enjoy life the next day. In London, sleep sometimes serves merely as a mechanism for bodily collapse prevention –– I sleep because I simply can’t stay awake anymore. I’ve grown used to over-drafting from tomorrow’s energy reserve.
But what’s driving this endless overconsumption of stamina? Maybe, the modern life we know is a grand display of distractions. So much so that we lose the ability to muffle the noise vying for our attention. “We let ourselves indulge in distractions until that becomes the only design we know,” reflects Aditi. From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, objects, big and small, are constantly screaming to steal our time and engagement. Unfiltered distractions only drain our energy and intensify our perceived busyness. No wonder we sometimes go to sleep feeling so scatterbrained as if nothing of quality has been done that day. A better way to fall asleep is to feel we’ve invested undiluted attention in things we want and not things that tricked us into wanting. If unplugging our propensity to cave in to distractions could so easily be done on a vacation, why is it so difficult for us to do that back home in the first place?
Giving up the unreasonable expectation of productivity
Instead, we try to be in sync with the natural fluctuations of our energy levels and examine productivity realistically. On a normal day, there are always endless trivial tasks to be completed and never enough time. While there is so much to see as a tourist in a beautiful and historic city, I don’t feel rushed or pressured to experience it ALL. On this trip, I no longer need caffeine as a survival tool. I learn to enjoy the activity and my surroundings even when I’m not buzzing with energy. It’s okay to yawn and want to shut my eyes for a minute after reading for a while. It becomes silly to me how I used to feel so bothered by my lethargy after hours of work. Do I not see that fatigue is a loud and clear signal when I need a break? Gone are the self-imposed expectations that so often torture my mind and body.
Another note on energy and activity level. Our itineraries are packed daily. We wake up before eight and stay active until midnight. During the day, we are constantly on the move (physically and mentally): hike, walk around, have deep conversations, challenge one another’s thoughts, read scientific books, etc. The environment is always stimulating, yet we do not feel drained at the end of each day. We feel… fulfilled. When we lie down in bed, it’s not a feeling of “I can’t take this anymore, I’m gonna drop,” like how I feel so exhausted and doze off daily on London buses and tubes, but “Wow, what a day! Can’t wait to see what tomorrow has to offer.” This leads to my next observation.
Nurturing an environment for learning
An always-learning environment sustains self-reflection and growth. Learning gives us something to look forward to every day. For me, this includes learning about the things we are interested in, learning to become better at something, and seeking inspiration from others. I think learning requires a lot of alone time for deep thinking to flesh out our understanding of something or for the genesis of original ideas, unadulterated by others’ input. But we also always absorb inspiration and feedback from our environments.
Learning about something interesting: On this trip, I’ve been mesmerized by a book called The Selfish Genes about evolutionary biology. The concepts introduced in this book have enhanced my understanding of almost every other aspect of life from a refreshed angle. If I had read this book four years sooner, I think I would have studied a natural science (biology or physics) subject in combination with Economics, the degree I got.
Learning to become better at something: There are so many things I’d like to become better at. Due to the constraints of traveling with a backpack and a full itinerary, I have brought with me something artistic and easy to practice on the go: photography and writing. Being able to hone a craft rooted in my experiences makes me feel very introspective and mindful.
a beautiful photo of Aditi :P Absorbing inspirations from others: Needless to say that I feel so inspired by my conversations with Aditi and Garima on this trip. We’d talk about math, science, public health, economic development, psychology, creative work amongst so much more! Being able to exchange thoughts with equally curious minds is truly a gift and multiplies our own learning. The environment also inspires me –– the lovely people, botanical gardens with beautiful tropical plants, the colorful market stalls, the movements of snake charmers and square dancers, and the artworks that decorate every corner of the city… When I slow down to look, inspirations are everywhere.
I truly believe learning is integral to living a fulfilling life. This world is made of knowledge and I want to know as much as I can about the nature of things! Humans are such an inquisitive species that I don’t think we can be happy without making the effort to satiate our ancient and biologically curious minds.
Noticing, or giving ourselves the space to notice, all the kindness around us
Even though every city is full of people with all kinds of personalities, and I believe that our commonalities are greater than our differences, there’s a point to be made that different cities intrinsically inhabit different “temperaments.” Many agree that London can be a cold, zero-sum, and lonely city (but isn’t every megacity like this?). In contrast, Marrakech feels friendly and open. People are genuinely so nice and helpful –– and their kindness in the service industry is not incentivized by tips like in the US or the mandated service fees in the UK. Locals banter with us, smile warmly, and offer guidance whenever they sense a need.
Our hotel helped us plan a birthday surprise for Aditi. They even made her a cake! The restaurant we went to also “conspired” with us in singing and dancing around Aditi and her chocolate mousse. We walked into someone who worked at the restaurant on our way home, and he remembered us and again wished Aditi a happy birthday. :)
During our hike at the Ouzoud Waterfall, we met a group of students on their field trip. These kids approached me and introduced themselves to me one by one, shaking my hand. I was amazed by how open-minded and charismatic they were at meeting someone who looked very different from them. They were full of questions and even insisted on taking group photos!
Maybe, a big city like London will always respond to our personal discontent with “just keep calm and carry on (~Aditi).” But I still have faith that we can nurture elements for our ideal life with the right people, wherever we plant our roots.
Some final thoughts on building an ideal day:
Work that generates impact in cause areas I care about.
Having the space to rest and regroup each day is so important. I should learn to better prioritize the quality of rest in many ways –– sleep, solitude (a break from social chaos), mental decompression, physical relaxation, etc.
Reduce the number of my unrealistic expectations for productivity. To overachievers, most of our stress is self-imposed. I should learn to work with my energy level instead of manipulating it. Life is more beautiful when we leave space for serendipity and flexibility.
Nurture an always-learning environment and connect with intellectually voracious friends to learn together.
Make space in my heart to notice acts of kindness around me and pay them forward. Communities are circular. We are more likely to receive a smile when we are not shy to give one!
Good food & a balanced diet!! Learn to make Tagine dishes.
Recipe for Moroccan Tea
Green tea
A large bunch of fresh mint
Boiling water
Sugar on the side, to taste (We loved the cubed sugars they used in Marrakech)
